My Least Favorite Day

I have Back to School Night tonight. I hate this night. Every year I dread it.
It is not the parents (although some years it is).
It is not being at school late at night.
I hate hate speaking in front of adults.
By day I am a confident, eloquent guide for the future of our country.
By night, a bumbling idiot.
Whenever I have to speak in front of adults, I suddenly feel like a five year old in a room full of giants.
This is when I am reminded of the fact that public speaking is such a big deal to people.
I think I get these expectations that I think they will have stuck in my head and let it overwhelm me.
I have never blown it or failed, or left feeling like it was horrible (except once) and yet, every year I just don't like this night.
I am not scared or worried, just red-faced and sweaty.
It is a strange thing the way your mental state can control your body like that.
It makes me love my job of being with students so much more.
I know that I am not alone in this and that most teachers don't love this night either.
Last night we went to the Back to School Night at Grace's school.
I loved it because I could tell the teachers were feeling the same way as I do tonight.
Even the ones who have been doing this for 20+ years.
I also loved seeing her classroom all set up and imagining her playing and learning and having so much fun.
I love my kids.
I love my husband and I love my job except Back to School Night.=)